Welcome to the fork in the road

So I know it's been a while. I'm definitely going to be a little rusty blog-writing-wise. Which I'm almost ashamed to admit. It's disappointing. I really love writing. And editing. Well on my own terms. Not my profs telling me to write. I mean, sure the paper or speech or presentation or whatever will be amazing, but it won't be something I'm really capable of delivering.

I don't know where I got off track with the whole blogging thing. Maybe I finally got into a pattern that was suiting the life I had drawn out for myself, but that didn't leave an opportunity to write. But is that honestly okay with me? I really don't think so. But I'm not sure about that either. I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I'm still young, I know this. I know I have plenty of time to change my mind six billion times (okay maybe not -that- many times..). So here I am questioning everything. All the decisions I've made are suddenly not 100% for me... What if I can do more? What if I'm not pushing myself? What if I'm not giving myself enough credit? What if I could RULE THE WORLD?!

Alright I got a little carried away there. But honestly. I planned on a Bachelors of Education & Human Development in Allied Health. Then a Bachelors of Science in Nursing. Then a Masters of Science in Nursing. I'm happy with this. I'm passionate about being a nurse. Because I don't like how disconnected doctors are towards their patients. But my friend got me thinking. I could change how doctors interact with their patients! Except how do I know that'll even be possible? What if no one accepts that and I'm fought against and considered a lesser doctor than I really am? What if I want to study immunology and cure diabetes or cancer or both? I love diseases. Of every kind. What if I could develop new vaccines? Am I capable of this? How do I decide what direction to go to if I don't even know I'll succeed...

So that was just a little insight into the shit that I've been thinking about for the last few days. Always getting on the topic with my friend slash roommate way late at night, causing me basically to lay in bed imagining what my life could be like if I go down different paths.

I have a lot of things to decide. And I'm awful at making decisions. Which means I'm going to be doing a lot of research and asking more questions and being overall annoying until I decide if being a Nurse Practitioner is really what I want. Sometimes I wish life was easier, but then I realized that if it was, the experiences wouldn't be worth it.

Also if you're reading this:
1) Go to http://www.twitter.com and either,
a) Sign into your account, or
b) Sign up for an account, then
2) Follow @rawbinnn. <--- that's me.

And yeah I am on twitter all the time. Mention me, and I'll reply. Ask me to follow you, and I will. I love interaction!! If you use your BlackBerry to tweet and I can see that, a few people may even get the opportunity to have my BBM pin! Woo. But no really, follow me on twitter to have a constant flow of thoughts crossing my mind. It's totally worth the 30 seconds it takes to make an account/sign in and then follow me.

I PROMISE.

xoxo, the little birdy.

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